My Experiences with CB2

Today's assignment was to spend a little bit of time on the CB2.com website, which is an offshoot of the regular Crate & Barrel chain.  Its primary focus appears to be on younger and less-well-off consumers who like the CB sensibility but do not happen to have thousands of dollars to throw around on a chaise lounge.  So let's dive into the site, and I'll give you my impressions, which were both positive and negative.

Ready?


OVERALL FIRST IMPRESSIONS:

Honestly, my first impressions of what I found on the CB2 brand -- both the brick-and-mortar stores I found online, as well as the actual online space -- is that CB2 is, in essence, what you end up with when a mommy Crate & Barrel and a daddy Urban Outfitters love each other very much, so they lay down one night after too much tequila and make a baby.  That baby grows up with limitless potential, but -- like mommy and daddy -- also has to grow up and make his or her own mistakes in order to find their own identity.

That's CB2.

Three Words or Phrases I'd Use To Describe CB2:

1. Painfully, Tragically Hip.  CB2 oozes its desires to be hip and edgy, and attempts to wear that edginess on its figurative sleeve.  It has a lot of good things going for it, but in its attempt to be different from other retailers it's kind of lost a lot of the good stylistic foundations for which Crate & Barrel is usually known.
2. IKEA-Like.  The furnishings I did notice all seem to have a kind of utilitarian aesthetic about them.  Much more nouveau in terms of fashion that my current tastes would consider.  I live in a pretty big urban market -- Phoenix is, don't forget, the #6 largest city in the nation -- and CB2 makes me feel like I live in a podunk sheep-abusing cowtown.  More often than not, the furnishings would either look great in a loft in SoHo, or a college dorm room in Queens.  Very little in-between.
3. Relatively Inexpensive.  When compared with Crate & Barrel's pricing structure -- which very often feels to your wallet as if you're shopping in between rounds of a mid 1980s episode of "Wheel of Fortune" -- the pricing here is a lot more affordable.  This is probably because the site tends to skew towards younger urban hipsters who can't always afford to drop three large on a sectional sofa.

If I haven't made it clear, CB2 is probably not aimed at a 36 year-old married dude with children.  The furnishings on the CB2 page reminded me a lot more of IKEA fare.  Not that there's anything wrong with IKEA furnishings, but the style doesn't necessarily speak to me personally.  I also don't keep my DVDs in empty milk crates any longer.  Doesn't mean if you do that I think less of you.

Let's take a look at the front page of the CB2 website for a moment:

If you might pardon my vernacular for a moment -- HOLY LIVING CRAP.  That's one busy webpage you've got there.

Forget for a moment that you've got all these absolutely wonderful things you want to tell me, CB2.  Forget that you've got sales, and specials, and categories, and surveys, and all these other sister pages you'd like me to check out and visit, and hey here's the gift registry, and our flipbook and PLEASE DEAR GOD LIKE US ON FACEBOOK SO OUR MARKETING TEAM GETS TO KEEP THEIR JOBS.  Forget all that for a moment.

And put yourself into my shoes.  As, y'know, a consumer.  A shopper.  A potential buyer of the stuff you sell.

You want to know what really grinds my gears?  When I come to your page and the first thing you hit me with is a popup window.  And the popup window wants my email address.  I just got to your page, and you're already asking for my email.  You haven't given me ONE DAMN REASON to shop at your store yet.

This is basically the equivalent of walking into an Apple store and being interrogated by one of the guys at the front of the store.  What are you doing here?  What are you interested in?  WILL YOU PLEASE LIKE US ON FACEBOOK?

If you wouldn't reasonably expect a consumer at a brick-and-mortar store to put up with that nonsense... then, why would you expect an online consumer to put up with it?

On the front page is the following picture:

No pictures of anything they sell.  No easy way to see what's going on.  Just a massive tag telling me about a big sale.

On items I potentially have not yet decided to buy.

On items I potentially might want, but about which I know nada.

Again, it's like walking into a store, but the front of the store is taken up by carnival barkers yelling through megaphones at me about all the great deals available inside the tent.  Nobody is TELLING ME what the deals are, but the carnival barkers sure are loud.  They're positive that if you'd just go inside the tent, you'll by golly find the best deals of your life!

And, just like being barked at by carnies, this makes me a little wary about your intentions.

On the right-hand side of the page is a list of categories.  When I click on one of the categories -- let's go with FURNITURE -- this is what I see:

In some ways, we're getting somewhere -- because now I can SORTA see some furniture.  All right, actual products!

But wait.  I'm only getting a hint that there's some furniture here.  And I can only sorta barely tell that the category on the left has opened up, because in a shocking development -- THE WEB DEVELOPERS DIDN'T USE FLASH TO ANIMATE THE MENUS ON THE PAGE.  That means as the page changed, I may not have necessarily noticed, because the page is already so busy that I ended up looking right through the new menu as my eyes were drawn to other elements on the page.  Oh, they damn sure used Flash to create the popup ads that dance before our eyes on the first visit, though.  It's not a matter of the web team deciding against Flash as a developmental tool.  For whatever reason, they actively chose not to animate the very element that NEEDED animating, and instead focused on using it solely as a way to annoy me.  Solid plan!

Once I "drill down" into the sectional sofas area, I'm met by a fairly spartan approach to selling me furniture:

Not much happening, right?

But when I hover over the sofa on the right, THIS is what I see:

So rather than show me a warm, possibly inviting furniture ensemble with an interesting background BY DEFAULT -- the site actually wants me to hover over it to see this picture.  No, no, Marketing Web Guy -- this far more interestingly-shot and interestingly-crafted picture is certainly NOT what I'd want to see at first glance!  By all means, give me more blank white-backgrounded furniture sets all facing the same direction.

Simply put -- why would you make me, your potential customer, work harder to see YOUR product line in a better light?

Here are some other final thoughts on your web page, CB2:

• Consumers aren't as stupid as you've perhaps been led to believe.  You don't have to cram everything in our faces all at once.  Every indication this page has is that I'm too stupid to breathe on my own, much less shop your multifaceted online retail space.  This may come as a bit of a surprise, but if I want to check out a gift registry or sign up for personalized emails, I can probably find it on my own.  I probably don't need your "live online chat" feature, and I certainly don't need to feel like my eyes are going to implode from sensory overload.  Don't feel like you need to cram every damn thing you've got going for you onto the front page.
• Animation isn't just a cool way to get me to sign up for your mailing list.  Animate your menus while you're at it.  If my eyes don't tell me the menu has changed, I get momentarily sidetracked by the epic ton of other crap you've got on your page.  Make your animation team take a basic class on advertising acumen and visual acuity as it relates to advertising as a medium.  I learned that stuff in undergraduate design classes, for Pete's sake, and I graduated in 1997.  The web has changed a lot of things, but basic human expectation of a web page hasn't evolved a lot in the past 15 years.
• Don't make me work to find the cool stuff.  Yes, yes, I get it.  Your page allows me to see pictures of the items with and without backgrounds!  Would I know that if I hadn't randomly stumbled upon it?  Probably not.  This is a problem.  You're supposed to be selling the sizzle, not the steak.  You guys aren't even really selling the steak right now.  You're showing me the cow and I'm supposed to visualize a steak on my own.

The People I Picture As Ideal CB2 Customers:

• Early-to-mid 20s urban hipsters.  Their parents may have owned a lot of Crate & Barrel furnishings, and they're interested in keeping up that tradition.  They probably live in New York City.  Or, at very least, they live in New Jersey and dream of living in New York City.
• Men and women who have champagne tastes with a beer budget.  CB2 is undoubtedly a less expensive way to maintain a nice home.  This is probably the go-between step for young urban professionals who no longer wish to furnish their homes at IKEA, but can't quite yet afford Ethan Allen.
• People who love the extremely spartan, simple, nouveau furnishing approach.  I kind of prefer my furniture to have warmth and depth, and most of the fashion sense of this brand appears to be in its exceedingly utilitarian aesthetic.

Overall... Would I shop at CB2?  Honestly, I'd take a run-through at a brick-and-mortar store to see what was what in there, but shop on this website?  Never again.  It's ugly, cumbersome, and practically dares the shopper to jump through hoops to find what they need.


Short Marketing Phrases for CB2:

So I'm going to run through some suggestions for CB2 marketing phrases right now, and I'll give you my impressions of whether I think they fit the brand or not.  Sound good?

       A creative home that is as unique as you are.

I admit that the brand tends to ooze "creativity," as it's filled with seemingly nontraditional pieces.  This is probably a good fit, since all it promises is that it's going to be unique and creative.  Those pieces are DEFINITELY unique and creative, though perhaps not in great ways.

         Put modern in the mix.

I think I like this one the best.  It's simple, catchy, and it asserts that the offerings under the CB2 banner are modern.  "Modern" is a good term, since it does not purport to offer any certain style.  It allows the consumer to decide if their modern aesthetic is right for them.

         Creative modern home furnishings.

Sure.  Kind of a cross between the first one and the second one.  Again, doesn't make any kind of flashy promises or tags.  I don't like this one as well, because it doesn't roll off the tongue as well as the second one.

     Living a Creative Life / Living a Modern Life

Doesn't speak to me much, since I tend to think I live a modern AND creative life, and there's really not much on the site that speaks to my sensibilities in that regard.  So either I'm doing something wrong, or they are.  I bet it's CB2.


I'm going to chalk up the CB2 brand as a general-purpose "miss" for me, but -- and let's be perfectly honest -- CB2 isn't really FOR me.  It's for early-to-mid 20s hipsters still trying to find a brand that's right for them.  I'm sure the hope is that if Crate & Barrel can capture the market at this early age, they can parlay that brand loyalty into moving them to the C&B brand once they get older.  Hence, you're ending up with a "customer for life" and a brand that grows with them.

That's my impression of the CB2 brand, and I just want to thank the observers for the opportunity to review the site and the focus on this blog.

In closing, here is a simple science lesson.  Feel free to pass it on to anyone with a passion for space travel and exotic animal culture.  Wisdom we could all stand to gain.

Thanks all.

Personal Style, Personal Space

Hello, world.

For this blog entry, I'd like to showcase the personal style of my home a little bit, and talk about how we've put things together in a couple of our rooms.

First of all, the living area...

Our primary living space here is where we do most of our relaxing as a family.  As you can see, we have the original clay tiling that's pretty common out here in Arizona -- it helps keep the room cool during our summer months.  Our primary piece in this room is a large sectional sofa purchased at The Room Store, one of the local chains.  It is a corduroy-like fabric, which also was a conscious design choice, given that leather and vinyl upholstery can be very uncomfortable when the temperature gets about 100 degrees.

We've accented this room with an area rug for color, which also matches the tapestry on the wall behind.  (Bottom picture, left side)  We've also added a few end tables and a coffee table for warmth and functionality.  Last, we have a few wall decorations here.  A couple pictures, the aforementioned tapestry, and a "C" for our last name.  All told, we are pretty happy with this space... but we are always on the lookout for new items and new accents to keep our personal space fresh, new and exciting.  (So long as we aren't breaking our piggybanks open to do it!)

The next space I'd like to talk about is the kitchen. The blinds and window-treatments came from the previous home-owner, but the rest of the design here is strictly our flavor. My wife and I prefer a more traditional kitchen, but we have been forced to work with the designs that the builder had on this space. Namely, you may notice that there's no pantry in the kitchen here to work with -- but there ARE tons of cabinets! In terms of our home's style, my wife and I took (and continue to take) a lot of pride in the way our personal influence comes into play. We learned quickly that we couldn't always afford the things we saw in fashion magazines and other celebrity-driven culture, but the internet really helped us understand one thing: There are always economical ways to design your home that won't break the bank. 

Pictures That Inspire Me (from a design perspective):

So let's talk about a few things that inspire me.  All of these pictures I found via a basic Google Image Search, but I've also been known to pull in designs from sites like Pinterest, HGTV.com, CrateandBarrel.com, PotteryBarn.com, and other design-specific sites.

1)  Clean, Symmetrical Cabinetry.  It's hard to go wrong with design choices of deluxe cabinets -- particularly because we struggle so much with our own.  The lack of a pantry in our space has stymied us on more than one occasion, so in our dreams, we'd love to have cabinets similar to the ones shown here.

2)  Granite Counters.  We actually re-did our countertops when we moved in, because we recognized that the counters were so important.  These are gorgeous, and I like the eat-in kitchen bar too.

3)  Large Kitchen Islands with Seating.  This is actually one of the areas where our home could use some marked improvement.  There's not a lot of space at our island currently, and while we do have two bar chairs there, it certainly would be great to expand upon this space one day.

4)  Sectional Sofas with Chaise Lounges.  Our sectional sofa is a relatively new additional to our home, as we added this back in January.  Previously we had a three-piece sofa / love seat / recliner set, which did not really fit our needs or personality very well.  The new sectional allows us to be together in relaxation as we watch a movie, or simply surf our personal devices and laptops together in the same room.  It's a great addition to our home and we are happy to have it.

5)  Bright colors and vibrant color schemes.  Our home currently is a little muted, as it's been designed with earth-tones and relaxing colors.  This is fine in areas like the front rooms where we receive the majority of our visitors, but I find a lot of inspiration in rooms that break away from the usual drab and dare to do something different, like the one below.

6)  Vaulted and/or high ceilings.  We have some nice ceiling designs in some of the rooms of our home, and it certainly can help pull the eye in some unintended directions.  We've attempted to design with that in mind.  As you can see by the picture below, ceilings can really help give a room character by breaking lines and forcing the eye to see things in new ways.

7)  Wood blinds.  The existing blinds we have had since we moved into our home are currently on their last legs -- and they've enjoyed a good run.  Lately I've been interested in seeing unusual and innovative new ways people are using wood blinds in their home, as I know my day of replacing the ones we have is fast approaching.

8)  Innovative "man cave" designs.  Our current office doubles as my "retreat room," so seeing what others have done with their own spaces helps me plan towards the day when I re-do my own space.

EXERCISE!  "Grant Re-Does His Living Room"

In this exercise, I'm going to spend a little time redoing my living room from the ground-up.  As I've said before, I don't think there's anything terrible about our current living space... but this would assume that A) money is no object, and B) I'm constructing it from scratch instead of doing it all piecemeal as we've done over the years.

So let's begin with the most important piece -- the sectional sofa. 

1)  SECTIONAL SOFA/CHAISE from THE ROOM STORE
MSRP:  $2,499.00

If I might be honest, I originally looked at some of the higher-end sectionals on CrateandBarrel.com, but ended up coming back to units advertised by The Room Store, due primarly to how much sharper and cleaner they looked.  The quality on the CB units will undoubtedly be *marginally* better, but were also literally being advertised at twice the price.  I will be just as happy with this unit as I would one from CB.  This unit looks warm and inviting, and will more than nimbly fit my design style and space easily.


2)  BENCHWRIGHT COFFEE TABLE from POTTERY BARN
MSRP:  $699.00

A great piece.  I'm a sucker for dark woods, and the design -- undertable shelving as well as drawers for smaller items like remote controls -- equals a stylish yet still functional piece.  I'd be exceedingly happy with a table like this, particularly paired up with matching end-tables for each side of the sectional sofa.

3)  AMISH HANDCRAFTED ENTERTAINMENT CENTER from COUNTRY LIVING

MSRP:  $2,687.50

More and more people are getting away from entertainment centers -- choosing instead to mount their flat-panel televisions directly to the wall -- but when done right, an entertainment center can help not only draw the eye aesthetically, but also help conceal a lot of the accessories.  Items like cable/satellite tuners, DVD and Blu-Ray players, game consoles, movies,  and -- worst -- pesky cords can all be arranged and kept from view, making for a much cleaner experience for all.  This unit is especially nice, but not too overpowering.  You don't want the entertainment center to dominate the room, and this one does a good job of keeping everything straight without creating a spectacle.

4)  NAPOLI STERLING WALNUT CEILING FAN from MINKA AIRE

MSRP:  $629.99

In a place like Phoenix, air flow is key -- and the name of the game is "go big or go home."  This unit from Minka Aire is going to keep air flow circulating in this primary area of our home, and it's going to do so with whisper-like precision and understated class.  It's a good unit that should last for the life of the home.

5)  ALL-OVER CORAL AREA RUG from POTTERY BARN  (9' x 12' size)

MSRP:  $849.00

I might be inclined to look at something a bit more economical in the area rug department, should money be an object in this exercise... but if we're playing like it isn't, this is a great rug.  It should pull in accents from the couch and the other items in the room, and provide a nice soft respite from all the clay tile.  Plus, it's from Pottery Barn, a name I trust and a quality that I know will be good for years to come.

As I look back through the images, and the places where I find inspiration, it's interesting to note that I'm not quite as brand-loyal as I once thought.  I managed to find pieces from all over, and despite the fact that my couch probably isn't from a store with the "name brand" value that Crate & Barrel or Pottery Barn has... it's still a good piece, and it fits with my design aesthetic a bit more efficiently than anything PB or C&B has on their shelves.

In any case, I hope this gives you a look at how the Chastain home is constructed, and how we'd construct it again if we had to do it all over again.

In closing, here's a picture from a local news broadcast, which reminds us all -- be careful what you ask for in this world, because there's always a chance you might just get it.

Grant's "Web of Influence"

Today, I'd like to spend a little bit of time talking about my "web of influence," which is a fancy, somewhat-scientific term that means, "people and things that influence me" and "people and things that I influence."  Simple, right?

Obviously for me, a huge motivator in my web of influence is my family.  My wife and daughter motivate me to be my best every day.  As well, my close friends are big motivators -- people who I can count upon to always tell me the truth, and love me for who I am.

That is NOT what I'm talking about today, though.  EVERYBODY has family.  (Except Batman.)  EVERYBODY has friends.  (Except Batman, and Jim Rome.)

Today I want to talk about the people and things that influence me that aren't people and things with whom I can directly interact.


CELEBRITIES

I'm not the kind of guy that bases a lot of his self-worth on what famous people are doing... but I'd be lying if I said that I don't pay attention, because I do.  I love to watch shows like "Cribs" or "Lifestyles" that show celebrity homes, celebrity closets, celebrity style choices.  To me, it's vicarious -- basically, it gives me a chance to see "how the other half lives" without all the pesky "having to be rich and famous to know" angle.

MAGAZINES & CATALOGS

 As a man -- and, specifically, a married man -- it's not really in my nature to seek out "style" magazines like InStyle or Us Weekly.  That's not to say, however, that I don't seek out ways to remain in style with my wardrobe and home furnishings.  Most of my influence comes from magazines, specifically magazines like Maxim, Stuff, Esquire and Wired.  (Wired a little less so than the others, but mostly because I don't want to be decked out in nerd attire 24/7.)

Stuff is a great magazine, because it not only gives me recommendations on clothing, gadgets and home furnishings.

 Catalogs give me some similar outlets, since they allow me to see what is new and hot, and decide based upon the retailers whose offerings most fit my own personal sense of style.

Generally, I prefer retailers like Crate & Barrel, though I'm also not opposed to buying some decorations and furnishings at stores like Bed Bath & Beyond, Kohl's, IKEA, or other similar retailers.  Catalogs from these kinds of shops can help me determine future purchases, as they sometimes showcase items of which I was not previously aware.  This is, and continues to be, one of the key differentiators of these types of stores over internet retailers like Amazon or Overstock.


HOME IMPROVEMENT TELEVISION

 A guilty pleasure of mine, as well as my wife.  We enjoy watching television programs like House Hunters, Flip This House, Extreme Home Makeover, and Trading Spaces.  Beyond seeing what other people have done with their own homes, it can give us a lot of great ideas for useful things to do with difficult spaces in our OWN house.  Watching these programs inspired us to upgrade our bathroom counters and faucets recently.



Admittedly, we cannot always accomplish exactly what the shows set out to do -- we, after all, do NOT have an unlimited budget / camera crew / production studio -- but in a lot of cases, these kinds of shows can help influence us as we attempt to keep our home fresh, clean, and modernized.



And, finally, we come to...


THE INTERNET

It's easy for a lot of people to discredit the internet as a "time-waster" or "distraction," but the fact is my wife and I very, very rarely buy something these days without checking the internet to ensure the item we want:

• Has received good reviews
• Is being offered at the best price
• Is the best quality based upon the price we are paying
• Has been thoroughly tested
• Offers a good warranty / shipping / etc.

The internet has irrevocably changed the way we shop -- in most ways, for the better.  If we are buying a new vehicle, we are able to check the manufacturer's website for information.  We are able to look into local dealers.  On sites like Facebook and Twitter, we can consult with friends and family.  We can look into safety ratings, and get consumer reviews.  We can get pre-owned figures from Kelly Blue Book, and information on specific cars from Carfax.

I will say it again.  The internet has irrevocably changed the way we shop.


Here are some sites we visit regularly:

Amazon has been an invaluable resource for us for many years now.  Not only does it provide us with what is usually the best pricing, it also collects user reviews -- which gives us a good idea if the item we were interested in purchasing is really worth buying, or if it will have some design flaws that mean we should look elsewhere.  The site is the most useful for home furnishings and appliances, NOT for furniture, which is not generally their wheelhouse.

Crate & Barrel's website gives a lot of good information on retail offerings that fit our sense of style, so for larger home furnishings, we will frequently give them a look as well.  If we find something that fits our sensibilities, we will then go to our local retailer to see the items up close.  The web page, however, saves us a trip to the local mall, and allows us to spend less time in a store walking around.

Lots of folks seem to dismiss Facebook as a simple time-waster where no real good comparison shopping can take place, but I've found the opposite.  I value the opinions of my friends and family, and if they have bought something recently or had good luck with a product that I had not previously considered, their opinions on the matter can be extremely influential.  A perfect example happened recently with our purchase of a new digital camera.  We ended up buying a brand we had not previously considered, based upon the initial fact-finding we did on Facebook.  A family friend recommended one we had not yet seen, and upon seeing it in a store, decided to pick it up.  This kind of "instant recommendation" would not have been possible just a few short years ago, and we are very happy with our purchase.

We also get a lot of good design influences from some of the home-improvement store websites, like Lowes.com and HomeDepot.com.  These sites not only give you pictures of cabinets and faucets, but they can also give you ideas on home design and style.  In the case of our recent bathroom upgrades, we spent quite a lot of time on Lowes.com checking out some of the different design ideas.

Google has its Google Image Search feature, which allows you to search for pictures by a search string the same way you would a web page. When we are looking for some unique ideas, but we don't know quite what we want, sometimes we'll pull in everything to see what everyone is up to across multiple sites.  Here is an example of a Google Image Search string for Bathroom Design Ideas.


Lastly, it may seem strange... but we have found a lot of good design ideas on YouTube, simply by typing in a search related to the home improvement or style choice we want to make, and seeing what people have put out there.  YouTube has a staggering 60 HOURS OF VIDEO uploaded to its servers EVERY MINUTE of EVERY DAY.  This means that no matter what kinds of style choice is your choice, YouTube probably has something to help you along.



That's not to say I'm simply influenced by the internet as a blind consumer -- I'd like to think I do my share of influencing among family and friends as well.  Among my group, I'm something of the technical expert, so in terms of home furnishings related to things like wireless networking, home audio, televisions, cameras, and gadgets, I get my share of questions as well.  Primarily these come from face-to-face conversations, but I have gotten some of those via Facebook and Twitter as well.  I'm not so sure I'd consider myself an "influencer," though.  I happen to be an educated consumer in a few choice categories, and I'm more than happy to offer up that expertise if asked.  (Usually in return for THEIR expertise in areas where I'm not quite as savvy!)

In any case, hopefully this gives you a semi-accurate snapshot as to how my brain works in relation to home style and furnishings.  I will be back a little later, with a look at designing my home and how my personal style influences my home style.




In closing, here is a picture of an Alpaca that looks like Samuel L. Jackson.





This is my blog.  There are many like it, but this one?  Is MINE.

My name is Grant Chastain.  I am a 36 year-old corporate trainer from Chandler Arizona.  I live here with my wife, Allison, and my daughter Kendall.  Apropos of nothing, here's a picture of all of us holding some parrots.

(I am the one on the left.)

As well, here's a fairly recent picture of me with my daughter.

(Again, to relieve any confusion, I am the one on the left.)

I work for a Tempe-based software development firm as a corporate training specialist, for which I am handsomely paid tens of dollars.  In my free time, I enjoy cycling, playing video games, watching scripted TV dramas, and consuming vast amounts of junk food.

Additionally, I have moonlighted for the past few years as a graphic novelist, producing work for Arcana Comics.  I have a few books out on Amazon that you may have heard of.  Some people thought they were pretty good -- people like AV Club, Ain't It Cool News, and other major media outlets.  So that's kind of nice.

In both of my lines of work, it's vitally important that I have good places to work to allow for creative thinking and writing.  When I'm placed in the wrong kind of environments -- busy, loud, uncomfortable -- it's difficult for me to write my best work.  I take great pains to ensure my corporate office as well as my home office are comfortably furnished and the temperature is right.  Which, in Arizona, is kind of a job all to itself.

I enjoy writing and feel like that's one of my strengths -- I also have a mind that can regurgitate trivia and other mental flotsam on command.  I am good with mental games and those that require extensive knowledge of pop culture.  This has basically resulted in my friends no longer having an interest in playing against me in pop culture'y games, which makes me a sad panda.

I am also a huge St. Louis sports fan, and have been since I was a child.  My favorite team?

I have lived in Phoenix since 2000, having relocated here from Chicago.  The things I love about Phoenix?  Oh, there's a lot.  Ten.  Or possibly right around there.

TOP TEN FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT PHOENIX:

1)  The temperature, aside from June-August, is pretty freaking amazing.  Friends from Illinois love to call and hassle me in July when it's at its hottest.  I in turn call them in December to wish them a merry Christmas -- usually while I'm outside grilling.
2)  All four major sports are represented here, so I can always catch a baseball, football, basketball or hockey game any time I want.  There is also NASCAR, but this isn't strictly speaking a "sport."
3)  There is a lot of natural beauty in Phoenix.  Mountains, paths, trails, summits... it's a veritable boon for people that like to spend a lot of time outdoors.  Unless you're looking for the Lost Dutchman's Mine, and get yourself lost, in which case this probably isn't one of your favorite things about Phoenix.  Also, I hope you brought water.
4)  We are literally a 5-6 hour drive from Las Vegas, San Diego, Los Angeles, and Mexico.  Of course, this supposes you want to go to Mexico.  But at the other three places, you can do very easily, and it's highly unlikely you'll be kidnapped or forced to listen to a Mariachi band.  Or kidnapped by a Mariachi band.
5)  Cacti can live with a minimum of care and feeding.  Perfect for people with brown thumbs who cannot sustain anything living.
6)  There are many technology jobs here in the Valley of the Sun at manufacturers like Intel, Avnet, Sun Microsystems, SAP, and others.  If your skills skew towards the nerdy, this is the place for you.
7)  We have "freeways," as opposed to Chicago, which has "toll roads."  These "toll roads" are never actually paid for, and serve only to continue funding Chicago's crooked political machine.  This is possibly the nicest thing I can say about Chicago at this time, aside from "boy, do I miss the pizza."
8)  If we wished to drive for 3-4 hours, we could see the Grand Canyon, one of the greatest natural resources of the world.  With full disclosure, I have lived in Phoenix now for 12 years and have not yet, nor do I have plans to, see the Grand Canyon.  BUT I COULD.  OH YES.
9)  If you play your cards right, you might be able to entirely avoid traveling to Tucson, which is -- if I'm being nice -- a toilet.
10)  I can't remember the last time I had to drive further than 20 minutes to get to anything I wanted food-wise.  There are, in actuality, more restaurants here than people.  True story.

GRANT'S PERFECT DAY!

Grant's Perfect Day doesn't start until 9:00am, because I live in a bizarre alternate universe in which my daughter does not wake me up with the incessant demands of an 8 year-old.  I am able to rise and shine at my leisure.  It is March, or possibly April.  Warm, but not yet oppressively so.

After a quick shower, I throw on some gym clothes and go hit Lifetime Fitness for an envigorating workout, which afterward I will completely destroy by a visit to Dunkin' Donuts.  After picking off the last of the doughnut crumbs, I hop into the car with my wife and kid, and we go to a local dog park with my borderline-developmentally-disabled beagle/mutt mix Copper, and we throw the Frisbee around for a little while.  Afterward, it's off to Ted's Hot Dogs to destroy my waistline even further with hot dogs and onion rings.

In the afternoon, we go to Bookman's, a local used book/magazine/DVD reseller in Mesa, where we find books for each of us to read.  After a couple hours, we decide to go to a movie, where we find something that's suitable for all three of us and sit in air-conditioned comfort for a few hours.  Dinner follows at the local Mongolian BBQ place, which is perfect for all of us since we can each get what we want.

That night, we settle in at home with our stupid dog and three stupider cats.  Kendall goes to bed early, tired from all the running around.  My wife and I stay up playing games and having a great time, until we too collapse into slumber around midnight.

Oh, and did I mention this entire day went without ANY OF US checking our cell phones for messages, emails, or texts?  It did.  And it was heavenly.

I will write more soon, I promise.

Before I go, though, here is a picture of a dog wearing a necktie.